Saturday, January 28, 2006

It's So Unfair: I am Bettie Page

Actually, that is pretty fair. I like Bettie Page. Now where is my cultish fan base?

You are Bettie Page

Girl next door with a wild streak
You're a famous beauty - with unique look
And the people like you are cultish about it
What Famous Pinup Are You?

It's So Unfair: Skinny Chicks

Recently, my friend and I went to a boxing match. We had lots of fun, drank lots of beer, and felt lots of jealously over the super skinny boxing ring chicks. I don't know what they're called, but they are the girls that strut around the ring in between the rounds and hold up the cards telling you what round is next.

After all was said and done, we got to take pictures with them. A very pretty, super sweet boxing ring chick decided to become extra talkative and tell me her problems. She's so skinny and she can't gain weight in spite of all the overeating she tries to do. Oh, and she'd anything for a larger butt. Now, if I looked like a walking beanpole, maybe I'd be a tad more sympathetic. But I'm standing there, with a butt and can't hide to save my life, ever growing love handles (that I have NO love for), and thighs that seem to get bigger by the minute. I offered to hand them over to her, but she wouldn't go for it.

To all the super skinny chicks out there who really wish they would get bigger, just wait. Time will catch up you and then you'll regret ever wishing such nonsense. You sillies.

Sunday, January 22, 2006

It's So Unfair: Bedbugs

I'm so grossed out I don't know what to do with myself. Have you heard of bedbugs? I thought that was just a saying "sleep tight, don't let the bedbugs bite". According to a news report, they're real and they're taking over. I'm so freaked out, I'm checking everything. But they're supposed to be so small that I don't know what I'm even looking for. I haven't been bitten (as far as I know) but I'll bet I have bad dreams tonight about creepy crawlies. Ewww.

Yucky Yahoo News Story

Saturday, January 21, 2006

It's So Unfair: Gregory Peck

I just watched Arabesque just because it had Gregory Peck. Why don't we have actors like this anymore? Sigh...

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Image swiped from Thrilling Days of Yesteryear

Sunday, January 15, 2006

It's So Unfair: Crying

My editor sent me an email stating that she loved my book and gave me all sorts of accolades. So what do I do? Do I jump around the house and celebrate with alcohol? Nooo. I burst into uncontrollable tears. What the heck is up with that? I hate crying, I only cry if I get kicked in the shin. But, I guess now, I'll cry when I get unexpected compliments. If you see me walking down the street and I look hot, don't compliment me. I may just burst into a torrent of tears and embarrass the heck out of use both.

Saturday, January 14, 2006

It's So Unfair: Drunk Posting

That last post of mine was rant created after coming home from a happy hour that lasted too long. And the topic in question actually happened a couple of years ago so why I was I upset about it last night? It's a good thing no one was here. Apologizing for things that happened during a drunken state is no fun...LOL.

Friday, January 13, 2006

It's So Unfair: My Company

My company decided to hold "diversity training" classes for some reason I'll probably never understand. I left this training with the feeling that I should be ashamed for being an American and I should be stoned for being a Christian. Almost every single item on the training list involved bending over backwards for every other religion and country except my own. The US isn't perfect, but tell me what country is.

So, I shouldn't be upset that companies in this country are sending jobs that could be handled by Americans overseas? I shouldn't be upset that someone's religion involves me being screwed at work? I shouldn't be bothered that someone coming into this country illegally gets more benefits that I do? These were the scenarios that my company gave to us in that class and tried to make us believe in. When I questioned why the treatment of Christians was not included in the training, the trainee actually said, "I don't know, I'm just reading this". So, I have to respect the practices of Jews, Muslims, Buddhists, etc. but no one has to respect mine? I should have to deal with people disrespecting me because I believe Jesus is my Savior?

That's no joke, I read the bible (Yeah! the Bible) at my desk during lunch and get joked on for it. Pardon my French, but it's my f*cking lunch break, I can read whatever I want.

I know this country is heading toward an Anti-Christian movement, but I never expected to deal with it at work; especially in a training course. I left the class feeling that I should be ashamed to be an American and a believer in Jesus. Honestly, I've never really cared what religion other people were or what country their were from. To me, it was the person's character that mattered. But that class left me feeling really distrustful. I feel like someone's after my job and will use my religion against me. I'm not kidding, that's how oppressive that class was.

I'm not perfect...actually, I'm about as far from perfect as a person can get. But that was just too much, even for me. And, to add insult to injury, my company has the audacity to have US (United States) in its name.

Wednesday, January 11, 2006

It's So Unfair: Angelina Jolie Part Deux

My not so secret crush is preggers. Does this mean I'm not getting adopted anytime soon? And look how thin she is. If I ever get pregnant, it's pretty much guaranteed that I'll gain 50 pounds in the first month.

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Image swiped from DListed <-- I'm in love with Michael K. today.

It's So Unfair: Whitney Houston

What in the H E double hockeysticks is going on here? She has...no...HAD such a voice. And she wasted it. For what, so she can walk around looking like a crackhead? That is reportedly a $50,000 coat. Whitney needs to dump that coat and spend the 50 grand on a new weave and some more rehab.

I don't have $50 let alone $50,000 to spend on a coat. And my cats howl when I sing, the dirty guys. She has the money and had the talent and just let it go to waste. Crack is wack, Whitney!

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Image swiped from DListed

Saturday, January 07, 2006

It's So Unfair: Halle Berry

Look at the waist on this woman! How do you get a waist that tiny, never eat? I tried the not eating thing once. It lasted for about 1 hour and then I had to make up for the eating I missed out on. Then I needed a beer or two to get over the trauma.

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Image swiped from http://fromsunshinetosuicide.blogspot.com

Friday, January 06, 2006

It's So Unfair: Graduation

After going through two expensive years of graduate school, I'm finally free. You'd think that will all the thousands I spent going there, the school would spring for the cap and gowns. But no, noooo! AND, to add insult to injury, I had to pay an additional $100 just to graduate, whether I attend the ceremony or not. I got all A's so they should be paying me for the sleepless nights and stress.

I'm still not sure why I bothered. I'll bet in a year I'll still be sitting in the same crappy cubicle wondering why I decided to go into programming in the first place.

Wednesday, January 04, 2006

It's So Unfair: Beer

Me likey the beer...lots and lots of beer. But when I drink lots and lots of beer, I not only get tipsy (which is okay) but I gain weight. What the heck is up with that? I used to drink like there was no tomorrow and maintain my hardbody (ok, semi-hard). But now? I had to switch to ...gulp...light beer. Something I said I would never, ever do. You'd think the metabolism pills would magically work for me but oh no.

But hey, on vacations...no way. I don't diet then. Maybe I should take more vacations. But then that leads to "lack of money" issues.

Monday, January 02, 2006

It's So Unfair: Tila Tequila

She's popular and did it through MySpace. Freaking MySpace! I have a MySpace account, you think anyone comments on my pictures or that I have a hundred friends. No, noooooo! But I guess if I looked like Tila, maybe.

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Be Tila's "friend"!

Be MY friend too dammit!